Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Body Bliss Pics

One of my "light you up and fill your soul" friend's has an amazing page called Body Bliss Health and Fitness.  It's an incredible page that is full of motivational messages to help you lead your best life.  To help you strive for fitness, health and happiness.  One of the things she does is host a Flex Friday were people share their "sexy flexes," selfies, transformations, any picture that makes them feel good. It's such a neat idea, people commenting positive encouraging messages.  It's a feel good thing, a moment to say "Hey I'm working hard and I'm proud."  It's inspiring to see REAL people and the changes they have made.  

I've been taking pictures of my self in my gym clothes since day one almost 4 years ago.  Those pictures have motivated me along the way.  Right now those pictures help me see a fit, healthy, happy and beautiful girl.  They help me with using the scale less, and letting go of food restrictions and the diet mentality.  These pictures help me see that eating well, eating foods I enjoy, that moving almost every day work for me.  

I thought I would share some of them with you :)  

I had my driver's license renewed in December, the difference is striking.  When I saw these side by side it really hit me that my LIFESTYLE has changed, that I haven't seen that girl in the bottom picture in almost 4 years.  It made me feel good :) 

I took this picture on a Monday at the gym after a really fun weekend, hanging with friends at Wine Club (after a 19km run), and a lazy Sunday where I enjoyed breaky out, a little skating and dinner out at the WORKS!  It was an indulgent weekend, and this picture reassured me that it's ok to do that every now and again. No need to compensate, or restrict, just carry on with your regular habits.  No guilt, I had a great weekend. 

This set of pictures really helped me get over a bad feeling.  I had gone to Track Practice and put my iPhone arm band on.  I looked in the bathroom mirror and saw how it hugged the loose skin and flab on my arm.  I felt horrible about my flabby arms.  I ran the track feeling like they were flapping about.  I felt insecure and badly about myself.  Gone was the confident body loving me.  Then I took some new pictures, held a different pose, and saw that this flab is a badge of honour and beautiful :) 

A fun piyo pic :) 
This week's Flex Fri pic, I've been training for upcoming spring races which include a half marathon, a 70km bike ride and my first Olympic Duathalon. It feels great to be working toward something again after a 2 month break.  I'm excited and nervous and happy all at once.  

Pictures taken in Punta Cana, where I ran on the beach barefoot and practiced piyo with my toes in the water.  This trip was magical and one where I totally felt happy, free, and in the moment.  I also really enjoyed the mojitos and food!

Even if you don't share your pictures online somewhere (instagram, FB, etc) I really encourage you take them for yourself.  They can be a fantastic motivator and way to encourage and celebrate yourself.  Just be careful when a boat load of your selfies show up on your apple tv! LOL.

Friday, August 10, 2012

A paradigm shift

From the get go I have been pretty honest on this blog, sharing my story and all the ups and downs.  I think its important to share the real story, what makes us human.  A few weeks ago I was really struggling.  I was feeling a lot of anaxiety and even depressed.  I felt like there was a dark cloud over me.  It was an awful feeling.  I felt burnt out and most definitely at the end of my rope.  I had very very little patience for my children. Physical anxiety symptoms like a racing heart and nausea kept sneaking up on me.  The more "stressed out" I felt the more I relied on rigid thinking in regards to how I was eating and working out.  I tried to find some kind of control over how I was feeling this way.  I guess the dealing with stress with food part has not died out (whether it be overeating, or being rigid).

I was not myself.  I asked for help.  I told Ryan how I was feeling and that I needed a break, before I broke.  I told him I felt like I used to when I took Prozac or Paxil for anxiety.  I didn't want to go back to that (not yet) and that I thought talking to someone would help.  So I set up a counseling appointment.  Last Thursday I spent an hour talking to someone about myself, and what was bothering ME and I didn't have any children bugging me while I did it! It felt so very good.  I felt a huge relief in doing so.  I must pause and share funny tidbit as I was booking my next appointment, I made a Freudian slip and said I will need someone to watch the KILLDREN (oops...can you tell the kids are stressing me out? LOL) In my defense though I had a pic of Jillian Michael's up on my lap top and I refer to as KILIAN now. So it was a logical slip :)

Having opened up to Ryan, shared how I was feeling with some of my friends on Losing it in Ottawa, and even just that one appointment really "lightened up" my mood.  That night we went out as I blogged about and spent a great dinner out on a patio.  Last weekend was amazing, I was so much more relaxed.

I'm relaxing, I'm trying to find more balance.  Having delayed my long run last weekend from Saturday to Sunday was a big deal for me.  Realizing that it wasn't something that had to be set in stone and that I could indeed, sleep in, and enjoy a day with my family without worrying about fitting that gigantic run in was a AHA MOMENT for me.  This weekend my little one has a soccer tournament Saturday, I will be  truthful a few weeks ago that would have stressed me out.  I would have been getting up at 5am to fit my run in before going.  Now I see that I can take that day as my rest day and go on Sunday.  I know it seems so simple.  But I have have an extreme personality, there is an all or nothing quality to me.  Its part of the reason I have been able to run that damn marathon, its extreme like me :)  Training for a marathon (or three) takes a lot of discipline and I think I was slipping to far into the discipline side.            On a side note I was relieved when talking to the therapist about running and training for another Marathon, that she didn't see it as a negative thing.  That running has given me so much, and has done so much good for my mind and body.  I really do love it.  So finding life balance (ah that sneaky sneaky elusive balance) is the party trick.  Knowing that this weekend I can fit it all in, feels good, it feels good to not be stressing over how to make it work.

Now to find balance with the food.  Always the damn food. I guess you don't get to be a size 22 and not have a "few" issues with food.  I don't feel my emotions I deal with them with food.  But again, I am feeling a shift in my thinking.  I am relaxing with the food.  The trick here is to not go overboard.  Thursday night, the night of the Fried Pickles and Beer I ate way way too much.  Friday I indulged but not passed the point of full.  I think I will always struggle with the damn all or nothing, black and white thinking.  Finding the grey zone here is so hard for me.  But I am trying.  I totally over ate yesterday, I don't even know how it happened but I know it started with choc chips. The key though, is I didn't panic.  I did not berate myself.  I did not make promises.  I loved myself. I accepted that I ate to much.  I went back and had another cookie.  I accepted that too.  I told myself it was not the end of the world.  I told myself I was ok.  I believed it.  I went to sleep and woke up this morning feeling well.

My friend Liz said something that stuck with me, it was something like all we can do is OUR BEST, that there is no perfection, but we keep striving forward and to do our best.  I'm working on being MY BEST, taking care of me, being a happy and healthy me.  I am not the bulimic I was in my young adulthood, I am not the obese woman of my adulthood, I am me right now doing my best to be healthy and happy.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Relaxed Mother Runner

Thursday Night "start of a long weekend" Beer and Fried Pickles on a Patio with the Family
So I may....have a wee bit of an extreme personality, an all or nothing type of attitude.  I'm working on finding that balance, I get close....veer off...and come back.   Last weekend was a really nice lesson in relaxing, taking the entire weekend off from working out and resting so I can be stronger.  This Thursday night I relaxed and enjoyed a fun evening with my family on a patio. We played a new doodle game with the kids while waiting for our food, enjoyed some very tasty beers.  I may have veered a little to far into the realm of indulging with deep fried pickles, and fries with my dinner, oh and dessert! OOPS.  But I have to say I didn't feel guilty, which was a nice feeling.

Date night with Ryan,  WITHOUT KIDS!
Friday night was a real treat, and Ryan and I got to go out without our kids in tow. We enjoyed a really yummy dinner and wine at Pho Thai Fusion.  I had "carb loading" on the brain when I devoured my entire plate of Curry and Rice but other then that didn't stuff myself too silly and I think found a bit of that "balance."  We saw Dark Night after dinner and I LOVED it!. 

This morning I was "supposed" to get up at 6am to eat breakfast and get ready to hit the road for 7am to run 24 km.  Instead I slept in!  It felt good! So I am going to run on Sunday. I am embracing a more relaxed attitude.  When the anxiety or guilt at not running today creeps in, I will push it out and enjoy the day with my family.  When my daughter starts to press my buttons this am, I will not think man I wish I was out running, I will think I love this little stinker and work on my patience. 

Here's to a long weekend, of balance, and hoping the rain stays away when my running shoes hit the road in the morning.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Hitting the wall, 3 weeks later

3 weeks since the Marathon, and today I feel it.  Today I am hitting wall. I could feel it looming on the weekend.  Saturday I was going to do a spin class and decided to take the day off, yes I do take those LOL.  Instead I went for a little bike ride with the kids, it felt good just to get out on a beautiful day, enjoy some time with the kids, and yet not exert myself.  Sunday, I had plans to go for a long run on the hilly cottage roads and do a TRX workout (eeeeee I got a TRX!).  Once at the cottage enjoying the relaxed atmosphere any and all desire to go for a long run disappeared.  Instead I went for a 6km fast paced walk, pushing up the hills with my friend Laurie.  I even squeezed in a 20 min TRX workout.  Not to shabby for a Sunday at a cottage.  I have taken one day off a week, and other then that have been pushing myself hard.  Not running much, taking a break from that till half marathon training starts again in July.  But pushing hard in other activities.  But today...I have nothing in me.  I got up at 5am this am, unable to sleep.  I had an appointment training one of my favorite clients at 7:15am.  My plan was to workout as per usual after.  I didn't.  I told myself it was because the kids were "off and tired" and I didn't want to drag them to the gym.  But truthfully, I was off and tired.  Instead I cleaned the house, and got it back in order.  I felt good.  I thought I will go for a run tonight.  The kids and I headed out to Costco and by the time we were home I felt like I was running on fumes.  I have been playing the DO I or DON'T I game for an hour.  DO I workout tonight? or Don't I?

I have such a hard time with taking it "easy" and "resting" exercise is my security blanket and I get anxious when I don't have my "fix".  Funny thing is I have been letting go and finding balance of late.  I have lost the few pounds gained after the marathon, just by returning to normal habits (ie. not going on a 32km eat a thon LOL).  I have stopped getting on the scale everyday, and have been weighing myself weekly.  I have taken another break from My Fitness Pal and counting calories, and am trying to focus rather on eating whole foods, more healthy fats, and eating when hungry and stopping when full. I feel good, I feel happy, and balanced.  So today I think I need to carry that lesson on to my workout, and take the BLOODY DAY OFF.

The trainer in me knows its the right thing to do, that I will preform better later this week because of it.  So would someone please tell the fat girl in my head the same thing!  Shaking my head at myself, putting my feet up, and going to finish that last 50 Shades Book!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Recovery Week, Balance and Playing

Messy shot of my desk last night as I "played"
Its RECOVERY WEEK!  Oh how I love recovery week!  I only have 19km to look forward to in the morning, yep when would I have thought 19km was a recovery run.  I am looking forward to it...a nice distance to reap the rewards of a long run but "short" enough to avoid the wall of pain and boredom.

I've been taking care this week, listening to my body's needs...despite having worked out 12 days in a row I have taken it "easy" this week.  My runs have been shorter and I have felt really good on them.  I have moved to lighter weights in my strength training and more reps, and will be doing this till after the race.  I have avoided things that "hurt" or seem to set me up for "knee" pain.  I didn't do any CX WORX this week because the band work seems to bother my hams and glutes when they are already taxed from everything else.  But I have killed the core good on my own and it hurts to laugh today!   I have been using my dreaded foam roller and stretching!  Today I will REST, truly rest and not go near the gym, my running shoes or kettlebells!

This week has really had a theme of "play" to it.  This past weekend I played like a big kid with my whole family, relay races and EGG FIGHTS!  I met a friend at the park this week and we swung kettlebells and sweated!  I even took a little jaunt across the monkey bars.  At the park yesterday with the kids I actually played with them (shocking I know...LOL) I also cleaned out my scrapbook area, took and printed pictures, and have gotten back into scrapbooking this week.  It feels so good to be creating and playing and telling our stories again.  So often I go to bed early pooped from a very busy day, I lay in bed surfing the net not even really engaging in my tv show.  I have trouble falling asleep, my mind busy with things I need to do.  This week I have played in my scrap area, and gone to bed blissfully tired and slept like a baby!  I feel good I tell you.  Oh so very good.  I also went to bed kissing my sleeping girls feeling full of happiness having spent the last couple hours writing our little stories on tags and gluing them into my scrapbook.  I forgot how much this hobby makes me feel grateful!

So I have a full weekend ahead, a nice run, Ryan's Birthday to celebrate with friends, and Kasey's 4th Birthday on Sunday.

Happy Weekend to all of you and here's to finding some time to play.