Sunday, June 29, 2014

To race or not to race?

For the first time since I started running and signing up for “races”  I am actually thinking about maybe not going through with one.  Part of me wonders whether I have the muster to do the Half Iron Du.  I know I can do the 2km run, and the 90km bike.   But the half marathon after? I know it would be HARD, really hard, and I likely could do it with a lot of mental will power.  But for the first time in a long time I’m truly questioning whether I want to.  

I’ve had this need to push myself to achieve big scary goals, to go long distances, and to up the ante so to speak over the last 2 years.  A full Marathon was amazing, but doing 3 in a 9 month period was even better!  If Im honest, I really craved pushing myself hard.  I also at the time needed the “big goals” to make sure that I took care of myself and treated my body well.  There was no way I was going to be ale to run a marathon if I was "dieting and being restrictive".  The marathons were my way of taking care of myself, in my own crazy extreme way.  Last year I “only” did three half marathons and a full marathon.  I focused on training for the May half and PR’d and then trained hard for the Full.  I had hoped to PR, but did break my downward spiral time wise and finished with one of my happiest finishes when I saw my kids at the finish line.  

This year I chose to not run a FULL marathon, something I struggled with, would I still be a marathoner if I didn’t run one this year? Instead I decided to try something new, the Duathlon.  In doing so I was taking a lot of pressure off myself, and getting back to the fun.  I can’t even begin to describe how much I love biking.  I did a 72km bike ride today and there is no way I would have enjoyed a 2.5 hr run as much as that!!  It was still challenging and hard, but when you get that downhill ride, the wind whistling in your ears, and your flying! Oh man what a feeling! or when your DRILLING It down the road, legs a fluid machine, the bike an extension of you, so AMAZING!  I do belief I even like panting out of breath at the top of the hill!  I did my first Duathlon event at the beginning of the month and loved it.  But man oh man that 10km run at the end was hard.  

So here’s the thing, we have a busy busy summer.  We aren’t even home 5 weekends in a row! The kids are home all summer so getting away to train means getting up early most mornings.  There is so much fun to be had and things to do with family and friends.   I’m worried I’m not going to be able to get all the training in to be able to do the Half Iron Du at the end of Aug.  I told myself this would be a “JUST TO FINISH” race.  So I’m ok if I have to modify some of the training to fit our summer plans.  I am ok with not having a “perfect training plan”.  

But even with that, with taking that pressure off, I find myself still questioning do I want to do this?  I’m totally serious, I don’t feel the USUAL drive to make this happen.  So I’m not making any decisions right now.  I’m going to wait and see how things go.  I have to say so far I am actually enjoying the training.  Last weekend we went on our first camping weekend of the summer.  I got up at 5am on the Friday to do my BRICK workout before Kasey’s Kinder concert.  Then I did my 2.5hr bike Sunday when we got home from camping, in the FULL HEAT of the late afternoon.  I tell you my motivation to do that one after a weekend of camping treats and wobbly pops was pretty low! But I did it.  This weekend we were in Norland with my sisters and crew.  I got up Friday am and did my Brick before we hit the boat for a day of sun and fun.  I rested all day Sat on the boat, soaking up the sun and sangria while watching my family kill the waves!  I started rehydrating after dinner and went to bed early so I could get up this am and bike 72KM!! It was a little rough getting up but once up all went well.  It was an amazing ride.  I”m really proud of myself for getting all that in while still having a lot of fun and enjoying myself.  

72km bike!!! Longest Distance yet by 2km :) 

Sangria girl!! 

So far so good, but what about when it get’s tough? How will next weekend at Sandbanks go? I do know I love endurance sports and running and biking are my “Happy Thing”.  I’m not likely to be taking any weekends off completely from working out.  I need my fix :) But somehow the thought  of taking a long run/bike at Sandbanks simply because I want to and going as far as I please seems more appealing then following a plan right now.  

Maybe I am being a baby and looking for excuses to not try?  Maybe I am just tired of always having a damn training plan or goal (which I do to myself).  Maybe I am JUST FREAKING SCARED? Maybe I’m scared of failing and it’s easier to just quit before hand?  I don’t know.  But this where I am right now.  

So I’m just going to keep going for now, do what I can, and see what happens.   

1 comment:

  1. Well, that could be excellent, but how about the other options weve got here? Do you mind crafting a further post regarding all of them too? Thanks a bunch!
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