...I thought ALARM BELLS would ring, lights would start flashing, there would be a knock at the door from the weight police...
Funny thing, nothing happened. If truth be told I have been hovering just over the line since Christmas. I have been slowly letting go. NOT LETTING GO of my body, but letting go of the worry, the stress, the weighty thoughts.
Its been about 2 weeks now that I have been trying to put attuned eating into practice. I have a lot of learning yet to do, finding my balance. I still over eat at times, I still find myself panicking that said over indulgence is going to send me pack into the 200 plus zone. Then I put on my rational hat and realize that I am over eating far less then I used too. That my old habits of being very restrictive during the week and overeating on the weekends to maintain my weight actually resulted in far more indulgence. Where as now I have a much more "even keel" flow to my nutrition (including wine and choc). I think the panic comes from not having that I am going to "restrict" to make up for said indulgence mindset. Now when I overeat, I tell myself to pay attention and eat when your NEXT HUNGRY...not to continue overeating, not to restrict, to just eat when your hungry again. I believe our bodies are smart and that if I can trust it, it will find its healthy and happy set point. I believe that my healthy, sweaty, active self will find a way to best fuel my body and meet my emotional needs too.
|Sweaty Self after this morning's TRX workout, about 6-8 pounds up from lowest weight....I think those those extra pounds are well worth the happiness and balance I am finding.|
|Awesome arm pit shot, glad I shaved recently! Yes sucking in for dear life (I mean CORE on!)...but ok with the mommy pooch...and YES THESE ABS WERE MADE IN THE KITCHEN! And I'm a damn good cook :) wink choc chips and all.|
Sometimes, I worry about sharing so much of what goes on in my head on my blog. Aren't I supposed to be confident and strong and perfect? I'm a "personal trainer" I should have all this figured out! But the truth is I am a just a woman, who has struggled, still struggles...is trying to find her way and help others while doing it. If I can learn from my journey and in some way help someone else find their happiness then that's mission accomplished.