203km in April

Today's the last day of April, 4 weeks out from May Race weekend!  I have run my biggest month yet in April covering 203km!  CRAZY!  I had my 2nd 32km run this past Saturday, it went really well.  I think I am getting stronger, the wall of pain isn't hitting me like it did before. I definitely get aches and pains setting in after about 26km but they aren't stop and lay down pains.  I was even able to bend down and untie my own shoes this weekend!  WOOT WOOT!  Trust me this was a big thing!  I also recovered better afterwards.  I think wearing compression socks all afternoon really helped.  I was able to take the kids to the park and hobble about pushing them on the swings.

I'm still struggling with the "weight" gain part of this training.  My weight goes up and down 3-5 pounds during the week.  I even googled weight gain during marathon training Saturday and was comforted by some of the stuff I read.  I know its silly but I liked seeing that there was some "reason" some "purpose" to what my body is doing beyond me just eating more.  (note: info is taken from the links provided)

Are you building glycogen stores?

"Good for you since glycogen is the stored carbs you need to make the distance. The reason that glycogen storage could add weight is that your body automatically stores water with the glycogen. This is the reason that an Atkins-type of carb-deprivation causes fast weight loss as water loss. Atkins, with its water loss and lack of carbs, would be a total disaster for anyone training for a marathon. Glycogen storage, then, is one of many small changes that add small amount of weight, but this is the type of marathon training weight gain you should expect and accept."

Is the body just freaking out after a long run?

"It is yet to be determined how much fluid shift occurs because of inflammation and the other resulting joys of marathon training. However, this would more likely be like a short-term gain followed shortly by a return to normal weight. The best advice is to track your weight over time and look for personal trends."

Are you experiencing “rebound hunger”?

"It’s common for some runners to have little desire for eating after a long run. The first concern is skipping the ideal time for recovery nutrition . The weight-related concern is that eventually your running-related hormone changes return to normal and you are left feeling famished. You are so hungry that you make choices on impulse, often with no regard for quality or quantity of the calories. Result: a higher calorie intake than is needed. Repeat this pattern for a few weeks with the resulting marathon training weight gain."


Ok so there may also be some more then moderate WINE consumption going on on the weekends, Dinner Club, post Dinner Club rebound hunger on Sunday (yes this is common phenomena), and general eating more going on.  But I can say that the majority (75% )of what I eat is still good WHOLE FOODS type of fuel.  Yes, I know chocolate chips are not a whole food...but they are a TINY FOOD :) LOL.  I am also doing less weight training, backing  off it to prepare for the race and weight training has been a big part of maintaining weight loss for me.  


So all that to say, that I just need to get comfortable in my skin, do my best not to go on eating parties for one where the chocolate chips rain down like confetti, and run like the wind!

Marathon Body Brought to you by Choc Chips and Chia Seeds!

Struggling and Resetting

Sub 2hr half marathon!

Training for the Marathon (I think the word Marathon deserves a capital letter) in May is going well which I am very grateful for.  This past Saturday I set out for a recovery run of 19km, but was feeling really really good and I noticed my pace was on target to do a PR for the half marathon.  I decided to go for it and run the 21km (13.1miles).  I had something to prove to myself!  I really needed that win.  I gave everything I had in the those last 2 miles and finished in 1hr 56 min and 24 sec!

So why did I need the win?  I battled a serious case of self doubt last week.  It was creeping up all over the place. The more I thought about it the more I realized that like so many things in my life it was coming back to weight.  I am struggling with this thing called "maintenance" and also training for a marathon.  I have been picking up some old bad habits.  It started with eating as I pleased after a long run.  Run 32km and burn 2500 cals and well DUDE IT's A FREE FOR ALL!  I was craving sugar like a maniac, dreaming about JUBES....crying for JUBES.  I got the jubes...and they made me want more...and chocolate.  That's where it started, then dinner after a long run would consist of things I don't normally eat, and lots of wine. Next thing you know I am up 2-3 pounds the morning after running 32km!  Who does that?  Long run over and I was back to "normal" eating habits for the most part.  ONLY...I seem to have developed a serious love affair for choc chips (a handful here and handful there), and the more sugar you eat the more you crave it!  I was even adding choc chips to my bowl of oatmeal. For a former obese women that's like the equivalent of a recovered alcoholic adding a shot of whisky to their morning coffee.  Its a slippery slope.  Its not just the sugar, its the reason's why I was eating it.  I would find myself feeling stressed and reaching for the sugar fix.  A habit that got me to a size 22 and one that I need to stop immediately.  I also seem to have developed this false sense of "invincibility" for lack of a beter word.  This feeling that I am burning away so many calories that I can eat what I please, that I have eaten these things and hadn't gained weight.  Only, what you eat does matter and it is starting to catch up on me.  I do need to eat to fuel my body and the activity that I love to do.  I need to eat well to preform well.  But eating sugar and caffeine is not healthy.  I am starting to gain weight! 

I just said those words out loud.  I have gained weight about 3-5 pounds.   I am now at exactly 100 pounds lost.  Here's where the panic sets in.  What if I gain one more pound and I can no longer say that I have lost 100 pounds?  What if I get hurt and can't run a marathon?  What if I stop exercising (I don't think this will happen, I love it too much but you see where the thought pattern is going)?  Who am I?  All my life I have tied my identity to something.  In high school, sadly much of my identity was tied to having an eating disorder and being "smart."  As I recovered, I really struggled with letting that go, who was I?  I quickly latched onto something else, at least this time it was healthier focusing on University.  Later in life as I struggled with being obese and not feeling very good about myself, I really started to form my identity around being a "scrap booker, an artist."  It gave me something to feel good about.  Now that I have been on this "weight loss and health journey" I have started to form a lot of my identity around having lost weight.  I blog for the "LOSING IT IN OTTAWA" blog, I have been very open and have put my thoughts and story out there on my blog and others, and heck I have even started a second career as a personal trainer.  I feel a certain pressure to maintain that weight loss.  I am the one putting that pressure on myself, I know no one else is doing that.  But these thoughts and feelings are leading to a feeling of panic, of stress, and none of that is healthy.  

But there's the key right there...HEALTH.  Being HEALTHY, HAPPY and FIT is what matters.  The number on the scale does not matter.  I need to remind myself of that and let that go.  Like so many times, here on this blog I find myself having a "coming to Jesus moment" and steering myself back on path.  No matter what the scale says, it can not take away those 32km I ran, that took me 3 and half hours to do, nor can it take away how strong and fit I feel.  I am strong, fit, and healthy! I may be sneaking choc chips into my oatmeal but for the most part I eat a very nutritious diet full of food that is good for me and my body.  I work really hard at trying to feed my family healthy food.  I do live a healthy life.  The number on the scale...well I need to stop letting that define me.  I think this is a battle I will likely be fighting again and again, but I will fight it!  I will keep resetting myself and reminding myself and if I have to knock myself in the head with the damn scale I will!  

So I am pressing the reset button this week.  I am giving up my beloved choc chips for the week and all added sugar.  I need to let go off that toxic stuff right now.  Not to say that choc chips won't have a place in my future but right now I need to stop those destructive habits.  Destructive habits including letting myself be defined by a number on the scale. 

ME and my girls...being so much more then a number...being sassy mom, crazy mom, loving mom...piss and vinegar Katie!!!

Recovery Week, Balance and Playing

Messy shot of my desk last night as I "played"

Its RECOVERY WEEK!  Oh how I love recovery week!  I only have 19km to look forward to in the morning, yep when would I have thought 19km was a recovery run.  I am looking forward to it...a nice distance to reap the rewards of a long run but "short" enough to avoid the wall of pain and boredom.

I've been taking care this week, listening to my body's needs...despite having worked out 12 days in a row I have taken it "easy" this week.  My runs have been shorter and I have felt really good on them.  I have moved to lighter weights in my strength training and more reps, and will be doing this till after the race.  I have avoided things that "hurt" or seem to set me up for "knee" pain.  I didn't do any CX WORX this week because the band work seems to bother my hams and glutes when they are already taxed from everything else.  But I have killed the core good on my own and it hurts to laugh today!   I have been using my dreaded foam roller and stretching!  Today I will REST, truly rest and not go near the gym, my running shoes or kettlebells!

This week has really had a theme of "play" to it.  This past weekend I played like a big kid with my whole family, relay races and EGG FIGHTS!  I met a friend at the park this week and we swung kettlebells and sweated!  I even took a little jaunt across the monkey bars.  At the park yesterday with the kids I actually played with them (shocking I know...LOL) I also cleaned out my scrapbook area, took and printed pictures, and have gotten back into scrapbooking this week.  It feels so good to be creating and playing and telling our stories again.  So often I go to bed early pooped from a very busy day, I lay in bed surfing the net not even really engaging in my tv show.  I have trouble falling asleep, my mind busy with things I need to do.  This week I have played in my scrap area, and gone to bed blissfully tired and slept like a baby!  I feel good I tell you.  Oh so very good.  I also went to bed kissing my sleeping girls feeling full of happiness having spent the last couple hours writing our little stories on tags and gluing them into my scrapbook.  I forgot how much this hobby makes me feel grateful!

So I have a full weekend ahead, a nice run, Ryan's Birthday to celebrate with friends, and Kasey's 4th Birthday on Sunday.

Happy Weekend to all of you and here's to finding some time to play.

Why I need a ponytail

While out on my run today, I was passed by the PONYTAIL CREW.  A pair of long legged girls, dressed all in fancy black form fitting running tech gear rounded the corner in front of me. With quick strides and their ponytails swinging back and forth effortlessly they soon zoomed by me.  Not even a friendly runner's wave from them, I was left feeling like a poser in my baggy black pants, big blue running jacket, and less then desirable hair do.  

I really NEED a ponytail...

or at the very least some black compression running capris...

and I SIGN!... a sign pinned to my big ugly blue running jacket that says "I'm running 32 farking KM!" yep take that Ponytail Crew!  

-just some snarky ponderings from road today 

gearing up for 32km

I am obviously not a food photographer LOL (see my not so clean eating dollop of ranch dressing on my plate LOL) 

Gearing up for 32 km in the morning!!!  The longest distance I will have ever run!  Its also the final training distance before the marathon in May.  Next week is a recovery week and then I build back up to 32km and taper 2 weeks before the race.  That's THE PLAN!  (The kataroo'fied plan).

So last week I ran 29km in 3 hrs and 3min.  I actually yelled out over the music in my ear when I reached the 3 hour mark "I've been running for 3 friggin hours!!".  How crazy is that?  I ate 2.5 Larabars and surprisingly only drank half my fuel belt.  It was pretty cold out, yes I had rain, sleet and SNOW on my run!  I had to laugh when the snow started to fall, quite the April Fools joke Mother Nature. I had a really good run!  I still hurt after about 24km but not near as bad as the week before and I recovered really well after and was able to function like a normal person.  I am trying to think about what I did leading up to that run so I can recreate it and I know that I hydrated really well the day before and ate well too.  So today I have been fueling and hydrating like a champ!

Here's a look at what I have had today:

**throughout the day I drank lots of water and ended at 4.5L or so

Breakfast: Homemade oatmeal bar with walnuts and choc chips, coffee with 1% milk

Hit the gym for an hour workout (30 min HIIT on the Stair Climber and then a 30 min upper body and core circuit) I left my legs alone.

Snack: small handful of almonds

Lunch:  rolled oats, with almond milk, cashew butter, EZEKIEL cereal and fresh strawberries

Snack: hard boiled egg and non fat decaf latte

Snack: greek yogurt and EZEKIEL cereal and a dark choc bar

Snack: small handful of almonds, coffee with milk

Dinner:  homemade pizza: crust (whole wheat and coconut flour), light provolone cheese, olive oil, caramelized onion, tomatoes, thyme, and ham.  Also had a cucumber, tomato, onion, boccini salad with grape seed oil, and balsamic vinegar

**3 small glasses of wine...oops..oh well I had a lot of water

Dessert:  Homemade whole wheat strawberry cake topped with vanilla greek yogurt and strawberries, tea

and chances are I will have some more oatmeal with some yummies on it before bed.

I had a lot more complex carbs today then I usually would have and really made a point of drinking my water.

I have an early am appointment training and will eat a good breakfast before going and a small snack when I get back then let it digest and hit the road.  I have my tunes ready! Ipod charged. Garmin charged.  I'm ready!

Wish me luck!

PS. totally just raided the kids Easter stash and am taking some mini eggs with me on the run! OH YEAH!