Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Taper Mind Games

So many times today I have written out my frustrations and worries and deleted them.  The fact that I keep typing it out makes me think I need to get it out.  I need to write out my worries so I can see that they are not rational.

I'm having a hard time recovering from the Half Marathon I ran on Sunday.  A run that was much less distance then what should have been on my training plan for the Marathon in Oct.  A run that normally should not have been so taxing (yeah because running 21km is no big deal LOL).  Yet here it is two days later, with one full day of rest and I am still in a lot of discomfort.  After I ran the Marathon in May I worked every day (light workouts) for a week before taking a rest day. I tried to go for a run today, thinking a light easy run might help loosen me up and work out the kinks.  I got half a mile and was in too much pain to keep running.  On the bright side I did get in a beautiful 8km walk on the trails.  ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I was able to walk 8km and have it feel good, without pain in my knees and I can bend my knee.  I need to remember that just weeks ago coming off a long run I couldn't even bend my knee for two days.  I need to remember that I went into the Army Run unsure if I would even have a good run and meet my sub 2 hr goal.  I did have a good run and met my goal.  The end was tough, I was really tight, but I was NOT in the PAIN that I was in while struggling on those long training runs. I am doing better.

I told myself that I wanted to give it my all in the Army Run and then I would rest and heal, that tapering for the TO Marathon might be just rest.  Tapering to begin with is a MIND FARK, you doubt your training, if you have trained enough, you question everything. I need to remember why we taper...to recover.  That all those long runs and the ramped up milage start to break your body down.  In May I remember feeling extra tired, slow to recover, and drained from simple workouts in the taper period.  I remember feeling emotional and hungry, and eating to feed my emotions.  I felt all that and wasn't struggling with an "injury".  Now I'm back in the taper period, coming off a Half Marathon Race (ie. emptied the tank, not a slow run), struggling with an "injury", and having run my first full marathon only months ago.  I guess I need to cut myself some slack.

BUT I miss the way my body used to feel when I ran.  I miss that ease.  I miss that fluid feeling of powerful strength.  I know I can find it again, IF I take care.  I'm continuing with my physio exercises, I'm stretching and doing yoga once a week, I'm foam rolling like a mad woman.  I'm cutting way back on the intensity of my workouts, taking more rest days, and I am eating really nutritious foods to fuel my body and its repair.  I have an appointment at Solefit on Monday to have a running assessment done.  I'm investing in making sure I'm running properly and avoiding injury.

In all of this I am surprisingly calm about the TO Marathon, I have let go of the pressure I was putting on myself to run it for a personal best.  Instead I am going to go and run easy, cover the distance and be proud that I have run my 2nd Marathon Distance.

What has me frustrated and anxious, is will I get that easy powerful feeling back again?  When the TO marathon is over how long will it take me to recover then?  I've been doing more yoga, in the last 3 weeks to help with recovery.  Last week I did a FLOW class that was very challenging in an athletic way.  It felt amazing.  I think over the coming months as I complete these next two Marathons, my training is going to change.  I see myself doing more yoga, changing my strength training up, and actually running less. I  feel more calm already having written this post, and I saved myself the money speaking with a therapist would have cost.   Now I can use that money to buy new running shoes!

I'm in the fugly orange hat :)

3 comments:

  1. What a journey! I think sharing this will help you get it all "in a row" in your head, and I bet you will find your taper easier now. This is why I write. When I am confused, feeling a bit lost, I just put it into words and voila! It makes sense again.

    Remember when I said I get to play now that I have met my first goal? I think, after your marathon, you totally deserve to "play". Try new fitness routines (yoga!), try something like crossfit or cross-country skiing (I would totally do that with you)! Your body is a fit machine, think of all the fun things you can do to challenge it now, in different ways! Then, by the time the Spring "leg up" happens, you'll be able to get back to easy-flow, powerful running because you gave your "running brain" a break and played! Just my two cents, of course, but I know whatever you decide to do, it will be great. :)

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  2. Thank-you Caroline, your right its time to PLAY soon...your words made me tear up today...still sort of emotional ...thank-you for your support :)

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  3. Hello, my friend! A great story and I'm sure you all had a great time on your cross country trip. I've never been to Montana, but it sounds glorious! I'm sure the chaps with the chaps will never forget it, too. Best regards to you. Ruby
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