At about 24km I started to HURT...my legs were on fire...my hamstrings were really really tight and buggering up the rest of my legs. I wanted to stop. So I got my phone out and called home in tears (while running I didn't stop) and I got Ryan and the girls to cheer me on. Hearing Kayleigh and Kasey yelling GO MOMMY GO MOMMY...literally lit a fire up inside me. I knew I was good to go and would make it home. It was a very tough run back. Mentally I was good the kids fixed that and I knew I could tough it out. But physically was a whole other story. I can run 21km no problem, but as soon as I go over that the HURT starts. I'm not used to the hurt. It wasn't a STOP RUNNING painful, not an injury pain, just a "HEY DUMBASS YOU HAVE BEEN RUNNING FOR 2 HOURS" hurt. I remember when I was training for the half last year I was just starting to go over 10km, I would get a knee pain for anything over 10km. 10-12 km would hurt. But it went away as I got stronger. So I can only hope that that is the case here too.
I started the run yesterday saying I would run 26-28km. I was a block from my house when I reached 27.26km...I STOPPED! If you know me, you know that usually I would have found some sort of gas to get to that 28km having gone over 27, and being that I wasn't even at my house yet. I had nothing left. I really did have to stop. I hobbled home. I had Ryan untie my shoes, I couldn't bend over. I hobbled upstairs and poured a cold and a hot bath....and I CRIED..and I cried some more.
The baths helped a lot! I came downstairs and made a snack (oatmeal, hemp hearts, almond milk, choc chips, honey) and I posted my run on DailyMile. Then I was gifted with the most amazing messages of encouragement and support from my friends. I can't tell you how much their words meant to me. I cried some more! My cheerleaders are a huge part of why I can do this, I truly appreciate them.
I was pretty much useless for about 2 hours, but eventually found myself functioning again and out enjoying an evening with friends.
All this to say that this morning...I lay in bed...thinking about this running thing and I have to admit I started to feel pretty negative. I was envisioning next week's run and thinking of the one after (32km) and quite frankly thinking what the HELL AM I DOING? I started to think about backing out. I started to ask myself WHY am I doing this? I didn't really come up with an answer and just got out of bed stiff and grumpy.
Then I started to blog....and as I have been writing this I know why I am doing this. I am doing this because I CAN! I CAN DO THIS! It hurts, its hard, it sucks...but I can do it. I have wanted to do this for so long, if I can make this happen, I can make other dreams come true. Like my favorite song right now "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I'm training for a Marathon, and I am training to climb future mountains :)