Sunday, March 25, 2012

Not sure how I am feeling today...

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27.36km!  I ran 27.36 km yesterday my furthest distance to date.  The first 8km felt amazing, I even literally "ran" into my friend Jenn (she's training for her first half marathon in May!) and we ran for a bit together.  That was fun and helped me knock out a bit of the run with some friendly chatter.  But once back on my own, things started to get a bit tougher.  I looped home at 15km and ran into the house for a "bathroom" stop...in and out super quick and back on the road.  I brought Gatorade (tried coconut water YUCK!) on this run, now that's it "warmer" out and I am going so much further. I also brought 3 date rolls instead of the usual one.  I finished my last date roll at 21km and really could have used more fuel.  I actually found myself feeling hungry. I ate a really good breaky before leaving but I guess when your out for almost 3 hours and burning through 2000 cals or so you need more fuel.  So I need to re think that for next week.  I am thinking of bringing some mini choc bars (inaddition to real food), mentally it would be such a treat and a reward for hitting a distance marker...a little trick to keep going, breaking the run down into rewards.  Might help, no? I definitely need a fuel strategy for all 42 km!

At about 24km I started to HURT...my legs were on fire...my hamstrings were really really tight and buggering up the rest of my legs.  I wanted to stop.  So I got my phone out and called home in tears (while running I didn't stop) and I got Ryan and the girls to cheer me on.  Hearing Kayleigh and Kasey yelling GO MOMMY GO MOMMY...literally lit a fire up inside me.  I knew I was good to go and would make it home.  It was a very tough run back.  Mentally I was good the kids fixed that and I knew I could tough it out.  But physically was a whole other story.  I can run 21km no problem, but as soon as I go over that the HURT starts.  I'm not used to the hurt.  It wasn't a STOP RUNNING painful, not an injury pain, just a "HEY DUMBASS YOU HAVE BEEN RUNNING FOR 2 HOURS" hurt.  I remember when I was training for the half last year I was just starting to go over 10km, I would get a knee pain for anything over 10km.  10-12 km would hurt.  But it went away as I got stronger.  So I can only hope that that is the case here too.  

I started the run yesterday saying I would run 26-28km.  I was a block from my house when I reached 27.26km...I STOPPED!  If you know me, you know that usually I would have found some sort of gas to get to that 28km having gone over 27, and being that I wasn't even at my house yet.  I had nothing left.  I  really did have to stop.  I hobbled home.  I had Ryan untie my shoes, I couldn't bend over.  I hobbled upstairs and poured a cold and a hot bath....and I CRIED..and I cried some more.  

The baths helped a lot!  I came downstairs and made a snack (oatmeal, hemp hearts, almond milk, choc chips, honey) and I posted my run on DailyMile.  Then I was gifted with the most amazing messages of encouragement and support from my friends.  I can't tell you how much their words meant to me.  I cried some more!  My cheerleaders are a huge part of why I can do this, I truly appreciate them.  

I was pretty much useless for about 2 hours, but eventually found myself functioning again and out enjoying an evening with friends. 

All this to say that this morning...I lay in bed...thinking about this running thing and I have to admit I started to feel pretty negative.  I was envisioning next week's run and thinking of the one after (32km) and quite frankly thinking what the HELL AM I DOING?  I started to think about backing out.  I started to ask myself WHY am I doing this?  I didn't really come up with an answer and just got out of bed stiff and grumpy. 

Then I started to blog....and as I have been writing this I know why I am doing this.  I am doing this because I CAN!  I CAN DO THIS!  It hurts, its hard, it sucks...but I can do it.  I have wanted to do this for so long, if I can make this happen, I can make other dreams come true.  Like my favorite song right now "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  I'm training for a Marathon, and I am training to climb future mountains :)




11 comments:

  1. Hey Katie - when I get to that point, i just tell myself "I can do hard things" and it helps...not everyone can do what you are doing. It is, in a way, a privilege to be able to run the way you do. But instead of giving up like many might do, you continue and in turn help others do 'hard things'.

    Jenn

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    1. You so write (hehehe plat on words there) it is a privilege and one I am very thankful for, for so many reasons.

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  2. you bet you tiny little booty you can do this! rock on sister!

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  3. i may not have told you this before, but you are the reason I have been mentally able to take the steps in changing my life. I am losing weight extremely healthily, i am exercising (not allowed to run but walking as much as I can and getting out my jammies everyday, including my off days) and i am almost completely off of diabetic meds.. last series of blood work no longer indicated that i was a diabetic...do i still have mountains to climb? yes.. everyday...
    but i read your posts, i cry with you and i think.. this kid changes peoples lives... you teach, motivate and tell the truth and frankly your journey is all the medic i ever needed to change my life..
    thank you.. really.. thank you....
    you are a champ!

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    1. I think YOU are INCREDIBLE! Dorrie Dorrie Dorrie, I am so proud of you! And you know mountains...you have climbed so many! Truly Truly in awe and happy and inspired! Holy Smokes...I loved reading this and YES it made me tear up! Thank-you for telling me this today :)

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  4. whoops.. supposed to say medicine...not medic..LOL...

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  5. Rawr!!! You can totally do this...through the tears and pain it will be worth it

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  6. I'm following your training, admiring and learning - sort of trying it on to see if it will fit me. Would it help to schedule people to meet you for the later part of your run? Or would a fresh runner be annoying? Let me know, I could make the drive to Farhaven now and again. Also consider the Running Room group run on Sunday morning, if that is possible.

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    1. I have to say this totally made my day, that your following me, because I have always looked at you for advice :) I so admire you and all that you have done! I'm a funny runner I think...I'm good on my own...especially with the really long ones..I hunker down into this place in my head..and sort my soul out :) I think that's why I never did the running room clinics. Thank-you so much for offering, the thought that someone would drive out to meet me, is incredible, and I am thankful to have that kind of support :)

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  7. It's Katie Squires...starring in...MARATHON WOMAN!!! I don't know how you do it. I am sooo not a runner, but I bow to you.

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