Saturday, December 17, 2011

A WIN better then any "personal best"

find the recipe here....if you dare

We are in the full swing of Holiday parties, and Christmas baking...treats are to be found everywhere!  There is much talk of how to "handle" ourselves this Christmas season, how not to gain weight, how to navigate the minefield of cookies...tricks on how to fill up with healthy food etc.  I won't lie I too am thinking about just how much of these delcious treats will pass by my lips.  I am thinking about how to find some sort of balance between healthy eating, exercising and indulging.  But you know what my real wish for Christmas this year is?

"I want the gift of letting go, of being kind to myself, of loving myself...I want to just 'be in the moment' of Christmas...enjoying the celebration and magic"

I don't want to think about all that "other" stuff...nor do I want to go into a full blown sugar coma, where I am not in the moment celebrating and interacting with my loved ones but caught in some strange cookie stuffing mania.  It does seem that I have a hard time finding that "sweet spot" right in between the two. I tend to find myself either being super rigid or down right manic about filling myself. 

Well last night I had a WIN, and it was better then any personal best running!  It was late in the evening, and I wanted a treat, I made a small plate of my favorite Christmas treat (see pic above).  It was soooo very good!  Then the overwhelming urge to eat A LOT MORE kicked in, that panicked feeling of flight or fight settled in, that old habit that led to me weighing 258 pounds was banging on the door!  I took many deep breaths, and I walked away!  But that wasn't the win.  The win was that I ate that small plate of cookies and I didn't let the  guilt...that feeling of this is going to undo me...that oh you Farked Up feeling get me.  I ate that treat like a woman that exercises hard, and eats very nutritiously most of the time.  I ate that treat like that elusive "normal"woman would eat it...does she even exist?  That was my win!  

 I wish you all a very Merry Christmas this year and my hope is that we will all find our way to being kind and loving with ourselves in our own way.  

3 comments:

  1. THAT IS A HUGE WIN INDEED! Merry Xmas my sweet friend and a big MMMWWWWWAAAA sent your way!

    R
    XOOX

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  2. Congratulations on the 100lb loss and having a small treat. We're ultimately responsible for what we put in our mouths. Well done

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