100 pounds lost, so much more gained

Awkward trying to show some muscle pose...or pushing a big fart out...wonder?

A long way from doing jumping jacks and having my back fat slap together doing the Shred 2 years ago :) 

Today marks an official 100 pounds, those last two pounds decided to make me be patient.  Which in hind sight is good, 2 weeks to loose two pounds is a good thing, and hopefully means it will stay off.

So to celebrate, and to reinforce for myself what this 100 pounds really means I thought I would make a list of 100 things gained!  (I don't expect you to read through it all, its more for me) wink. 

1. confidence in myself
2. confidence in my body's ability to do things
3. I love going out and dressing up and don't choose to "hide" at home because I am embarrassed by my  size.  
4. daring...love trying crazy news things because I believe I can likely do them 
5. made a big dream come true running a half marathon
6. fell in love with getting up on a weekend morning, chugging a shake, and heading out to a race with  my hubby
7. loving the post race glow and chat with Ryan while we break it down
8. sharing getting fit with my husband
9. how hot my husband looks (can you tell I miss him)
10. strength...I am strong...I feel strong
11. I love my arms, even if they still have loose flying squirrel skin, I think they still look toned, and I love them....I hated baring my arms at a size 22. 
12. shoulders...I love my shoulders 
13. I love that my daughter draws pictures of girls with shoulders LOL
14. I love my legs...
15. I can look at myself in the mirror with both eyes open now
16. I can look at myself naked and not cringe...even with sagging skin...I don't care..its like a battle scar I am proud of
17. speaking of naked...well lets just say certain actives are much more fun!
18. and on that note yoga...yes yoga really helps in that dept :) LOL
19. speaking of yoga, have fallen in love with yoga
20. love the challenge of getting better at certain poses
21. have learned that there are actual health benefits to those poses!
22. my kids love yoga!
23. I like a variety of physical things now....
24. running
25. spinning
26. yoga
27. weight training
28. biking
29. Fitness classes
30. Races
31. Even enjoyed a dance like class ONCE
32. I've done crazy stuff like City Chase and next year Bust a Move
33. being fit has become a social thing
34. I've so enjoyed the last 6 months or so with my good friend Laura at the gym, will miss her so much when she goes back to work, but plan on seeing her once a week in the evening
35. met a girl at the gym, Jenn, who's become on of my dear friends, and with Laura, we make a crazy threesome!  CHARLIE'S ANGELS watch out!
36. I have a new workout out pal, Liz who is training for a figure competition, I am learning so much from her, and more than that she is an awesome person and I am so enjoying getting to KNOW her :)
37. I've met up with a friend from the LIO community and fellow blogger Pam, to get sweaty
38. I've reconnected with my friend Mell at the gym :)
39. I have a huge sweet spot for a group of 'retired ladies' at the gym, they make me smile and laugh
40. Through the Losing it in Ottawa community I have met an awesome group of women and they are  part of my daily life online
41. yesterday when Pennignton's called to tell me about a special offer, I kindly and admittedly quite proudly asked to be taken off their call list as their clothes don't fit, and I politely said I hope they never do again, the lady laughed and gave me her best wishes :) it was pretty cool :)  
42. Yesterday I zipped a gorgeous designer dress in a size 8 up :)  Sigh it stayed in the store...not in the budget LOL
43. when I set out to loose weight I thought a size 14 would be my goal....never imagined otherwise...it didn't even seem possible...
44. but its not about size...its about speed, and strength, and endurance
45. or maybe its not about that either....
46. maybe its about my Dr. proudly giving me an A PLUS at my physical, and looking at my girls in the room with me and saying that what I am doing is setting them up to succeed
47. maybe its more about the frustration and effort I am putting into trying to feed my children's little bodies as best I can and set them up for health and the success when they actually like something I make
48. maybe its more about how much closer Ryan and I are after 16 years or so together...
49. and  how much more of a team we are
50. and how  attracted to each other we are
51. Its about not feeling trapped by my weight 
52. Its about my mind finely healing and my soul lifting
53. its about seeing the people I love making their own brave steps towards a healthier self
54. oh my I have to think of 100 things? 
55. who's idea was this?
56. is anyone still reading?
57. my taste for food changing
58. I love healthy food
59. my body wants it and so does my mind
60. I still want choc though and other treats
61. and I have learned that I can enjoy those things in moderation and more importantly MINDFULLY...being present...not in a mind numbing binge
62. I'M DRUG FREE...no prozac, no paxil....just plain old fashined endorphins
63. I have discovered just how strong my WILL is....
64. my will power, and determination in running that half
65. my strength in staring down my past demons and kicking their ass!
66. running in Norland.....its beautiful and feels magical
67. learning I like hills
68. fitting into LULULEMON....that was a big fun for me....
69. doing this one again :) LOL
70. I can carry my children on my shoulders up and down hills on a hike...no sweat..ok maybe some sweat...saving me from having to listen to them whine about being tired 
71. I can play with my kids outside and give them a run for the money
72. I can heave the laundry up and down the stairs like wonder woman 
73. I can carry a TV all by myself to the car, no help from the guys
74. I can put the lap tray down on the train or airplane
75. I can sit comfortably in the movie theatre
76. I sleep so soundly at night or I would if my kids left me alone
77. I am not smothered in guilt over what I ate
78. when I do indulge, there is no guilt...or at least not like before
79. I have learned how to enjoy and relax and fit into my overall healthy lifestyle....for the most part
80. I have found what works for me, not a diet, a way of life
81. I am ok with my weight fluctuating...
82. I know I likely gain some weight as I train for a full marathon
83. I am ok with that
84. holly crap I am going to make a huge dream come true
85. I got my PT certification
86. I made it through sitting in a class feeling like the FAT, OLD, LADY...and didn't give up
87. I believe I can help other women
88. I believe that I will be happiest sharing and helping others
89. I want to bottle this feeling up and give it away to those I love
90. I 
91. never
92. ever 
93. want 
94. to 
95. feel
96. less 
97. then
98. ever
99. again!
100. I feel like ME :)