|My new size 12 jeans...that's 10 sizes smaller than the 22, I was sporting just over a year ago. |
A few hours later a friend sent me a very well timed message on Facebook asking what size I was wearing, as she was cleaning out her closet. This friend, too has lost weight and is living a very healthy lifestyle that has left her with a closet full of clothes that are too big. Too big for her, but just right for me. We met up for coffee and some girl chat last night, which I thoroughly enjoyed (which is really cool because we have only met in real life once, and our friendship has developed online, got to love Facebook.) I got home after the kids were in bed and went through this giant bag of clothing. I spent an hour in my room having a fashion show, squealing in delight as I tried on things that I never would have fit in or thought I could a year ago. I fell in love with a black sweater dress, that makes me feel damn right sexy! She even gifted me a beautiful event dress that is just a tad small but hopefully will fit by Ryan's Christmas Gala. I was in heaven and couldn't have felt better about myself. I can't even begin to thank her for the confidence and 'little kid at Christmas happiness' she gave me in that bag of clothes.
So after my fashion show, I thought of how good it felt to receive all that clothing and gathered up the rest of my size 18 clothes and added to them donate bag. But I am still stuck on the 16's. Its like I need a security blanket of some sort. My mom told me today that when she quit smoking back when we were kids, that she kept a pack in the house for a whole year as her security blanket. I think I need one too. I have no intentions of going back. I know how good this life feels while truly living it and being healthy. I want to raise my children to be healthy. So I can't go back. BUT...what bumper do I give myself? What's my security blanket? What if I injure myself and can't workout will I gain weight (all though I then rationally tell myself that nutrition is just as important)? These are the thoughts I am having.
I am down to a size 12 now, I am happy here. I can live like this, I am not unhappy at this size (ie. I am not hungry, I am enjoying myself). I think I may even with any luck get smaller, the weight is coming off week after week. I would like very much to get to a weight where I am no longer considered overweight by medical standards. So is size 14 a buffer, do I throw the size 16 clothes in the bag too. I remember when I got down to a size 16 and how good it felt. I think it would be really nice for someone else to wear those jeans and feel good.
So I am saying it here....I am committing myself to this LIFESTYLE...that's right because this is about the rest of my life not some silly diet...and the 16's are going in the bag!
A little fun...I snapped a pic of one of my new to me dresses. Please ignore the wet hair, no make up, bare feet look. (and thank-you again Jenn)
|The tag on this dress actually says a size 10....ok so its a bigger fit and a stretchy material but give a former big girl a break this is pretty exciting! |