Yesterday morning still riding my 12km run high, I headed out for a yoga class to stretch and recover. The class felt SO GOOD, my legs in particular really appreciated all the stretching and strengthening. I left the class feeling, revived and fit (I was able to hold poses longer and deeper yesterday than ever before). Feeling this good do you know what I did next? (I must confess I was feeling a little peacockish) I headed to the personal trainer room and asked if I could use the body fat scale. Those of you that have been reading my blathering know I don't put a lot of stock in the scale, but I thought that knowing my body fat % would be a useful tool. BULL FROG. I was feeling peacockish and wanted a NUMBER as a badge (trying to be honest with myself here and with you). So I went in thinking ok, your still a 'plus' size girl I should expect something in the 30's. My body fat percentage is 44% . I was floored. shocked. deflated. After 304 miles I am still OBESE? The trainer sensing my shock asked me what I have been doing. I told her how I workout 5 days a week, running, spinning, a yoga class. She asked me about my diet and I was truthful. Although my eating habits are much healthier than a year ago, there is a lot of room for improvement. She asked me about strength training and I told her that I used to do the Pump class twice a week, but injured my elbow a month and half ago and haven't been able to do it. She thought that the lack of strength training was the main culprit. I have a consult booked with her next week to talk. I am hoping that I can walk away with a 'healthy' plan to help me become my strongest and fittest.
But that number 44 really threw me for a loop yesterday. I left the gym feeling rattled and close to tears. I had a tough week last week despite my running triumph. I spent the evenings last week battling with myself not to eat when I wasn't hungry. I was craving food for reasons that had nothing to do with being hungry. The devil doesn't want us to succeed, to be happy. I truly believe that last week the devil (and in this case he took the form of my past binging behaviors) was doing his best to undermine me, to send me tumbling back. So I reached out for help, I called my Mom first to cry on her shoulder. My mom is always the first line of defense. Talking to her was like a booster shot, that started to attack the dark thoughts in my head and let the light back in. I then called in my reinforcements Rachel and Laurie and they helped me come out of the crazy place.
I think that this week was a reminder that the past does not lie that far behind, that I am not immune to falling back into old behaviors, and that I need to keep working on keeping my body, mind and spirit healthy.
44% Body Fat, 100% Bright Soul!