Friday, April 22, 2011

Breaking Mental Barriers

Today I feel like a warrior woman breaking down mental barriers.  I went for a run this morning, not on my comfy trusty treadmill at the gym, but out in the real world.  I have been avoiding the road since my last run New Years Eve, and it had become a mental block for me.  I was afraid to run on the road.  I was afraid that my training on the treadmill even with all the varied inclines and hill work would render me breathless and useless.  I was afraid that I would find out that I was not a runner.  I almost talked myself out of the road today and back onto the treadmill and then just deiceded to go for it.  I went out 10 min after wolfing down a bowl of cereal and a glass of water no less.  I didn't have it in me to wait 30 min and play mind games back and forth with myself.  So I just went.  I started off slow, easing myself into a comfortable pace.  I ran...I just ran and it felt GREAT.  I loved the freedom of not staring at the output on the treadmill worrying about how fast I was going.  I just ran at a pace that felt good.  I listened to my music, and my thoughts were free to roam not being tethered to the mill.  I thought about how happy I was doing this.  How blessed I am to run.  Thinking of blessings soon had me thinking of what today is, Good Friday, and I thought of the ultimate blessing in my life Jesus Christ.  I had a little prayer moment out there on the road, under the sun, talking to God.  Things were going very well on this run until my ipod died at 8.5km.  I was so mad, I would no longer know how far I had run, and I wouldn't know how fast I had run.  My thoughts threatened to turn sour but to my amazement I reminded myself of how good this run felt and that that was what mattered.  I swear I empowered myself in that moment and shook off the remaining mental chains as I kicked it hard home.  No music, just me and the road...pounding away.

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