Friday, December 31, 2010

Going out with a Bang

I love this picture taken Christmas Eve. When I look at it I see a healthy mom, at ease with herself, having fun holding her crazy kid. This picture makes me smile :)

This has been a wonderful year. Tonight Ryan and I finish it off with a bang running the Brita Resolution Run, 10km. Last year at this time I would never have imagined in my wildest dreams that we would be doing that.

Last year I was thinking that I needed to get healthy, and make changes. Like any new year, my list of new year's resolutions included getting fit and loosing weight. I even started an online class in Jan about health and scrapbooking. It was a bit of a joke. Aside from a few cool journalling exercises it was a bit of a flop, mostly on my part. I had a lot of false starts in the begging of the year, including this blog. My dear friend and I came up with the idea for the blog. I thought it was an awesome idea to write and do right by my body and soul. It took me a very long time to actually get into the blog. I just wasn't ready. I was stuck in my black and white thinking, I was stuck in a tired, overweight body, I was trapped in my mind. It took taking something like 6 pregnancy tests in less than a week for to me realize just how consumed and crazy I was. I blogged and the journey here began.

I started moving. I moved a lot. I breathed, sweated, gasped, jumped, stretched, I even ran. I ran for 10 min, then 20, then 30...1mile...2 km...5km...10. As I moved I wanted to eat better, I fueled my body. I didn't DIEt. I enjoyed food. Most of all I have really enjoyed exercising. Truly. At the end of a spin class one day the instructor said "this feeling right now (that post workout sweat, glow, rush) don't ever take it for granted!" That really stuck with me. I am thankful not only for my bodies ability to do this but my minds ability too. Its not just physical limitations that can keep you from exercising, the 'disability' of the mind is just as real and far more common. When I start a workout I usually say a little prayer...I thank God for my body's ability to do this, for being able to go to the gym (I am so thankful for that), and for my children being taken care of while I do this.

Best of all, I have not traveled this path alone. My husband, Ryan, has been there with me. I can't tell you how much this has changed 'us' and 'our family'. Just the other day while driving home from Christmas Ryan said to me that "Right Now we are living the best years of our lives!" He is so right, and I for one want to make the most of them being fit and healthy. Our new weekend routine is a family trip to the gym on Sat mornings. This summer we pulled the kids in the bike trailer all over the place enjoying the summer and fall. Then there is the 'us' part. Let me tell you there is a whole lot of squeezes and kisses and admiring of each others ASSests :) LOL Its amazing how much your 'love' life changes when you feel good about yourself. AMAZING!

This year has also brought a lot of healing. I have reconnected with friends. I have asked for forgiveness and kindly been given forgiveness. I have made new friends and enjoyed my good friends. I have had the AHA moments, and done battle with my inner demons so to speak.

So 2011 what will you bring?

I want to slow down and let go off the not so important things. I want to enjoy my children as a stay at home Mom while I can. I want my family and I to play and explore.

I want to enjoy my hubby and share things with him. I want to go on romantic dates, double dates, find fun active things like Dragon Boat racing to do. I want to to listen to him, and talk. I want to enjoy his music.

I want to make my own dreams come true...I want to write and I want to run a half marathon.

I want to always feel this happy and grateful.

2011.....are you ready?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Dreaded Injury

The thing I have been dreading has injury. I have a pulled muscle or something in my neck and shoulders and its very painful. I think it happened last Friday when I was pulling the kids in the sled to school, compounded with bad sleep position and general overuse in lifting weights in class. Saturday I woke up in a great deal of pain, the day of Ryan's gala of all days. I booked a 75 minute theraputic massage. The therapist was amazing and spent most of her time working on my neck and shoulders. It wasn't the relaxing massage I am used to, it hurt most of the time. But it did help. She also said that the tendons in my ankles we very tight and I have been sore there too. She gave me a stern lecture on stretching more (and I admit I am not very good at this, I am too impatient) and stopping when I feel pain.
Here's the funny thing about how I got hurt. I got hurt outside of the gym and not during a workout. I got hurt on a day when I had to WALK the kids to school because I locked the keys in the car. I hate winter. I hate the snow. I hate being outside. I was an unhappy camper walking them to school. Too try and make the most of it I loaded them in the sled and pretended I was in a BIGGEST LOOSER CHALLENGE...and I pulled that sleigh like immunity depended on it. Yep I got hurt being an idiot LOL.
So Sunday I was hungover and obviously took the day off working out. I also took Monday off even though I was feeling quite a bit better (although my calves are very tight from hiking around in very high heels for the first time in 2 years). This morning I had planned on doing a PUMP class, but somehow I don't think lifting a heavy weighted bar is going to be a good thing. I do need to get a work out in though, so I think a light easy run today will do the trick. I will see how the day goes and maybe a trip to the chiro will be in order this evening. I hope to be pain free soon because this sucks (now when I sneeze I not only have to worry about not peeing my pants, but the dreaded OUCH that HURTS!)
PS. I look like my mom walking around with my heating pad on my neck :)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I made it into the dress

Last night was Ryan's Christmas party. I had been looking forward to this night for sometime, the chance to dress up and go out with ADULTS and PARTY :) It was also a special night for me in that dressing up in a form fitting dress was a chance to show myself how far I had come. I must say that with my spanx on and my nylons and high heels (first time in high heels in almost 2 years!) I felt pretty darn good. We parked really far from the event and I was thankful for my new found strong body that was able to hike it in tall heels like a pro. I enjoyed an awesome dinner, lots of red wine, and good company. I did learn one down fall to wearing spanx that being that every time I went to the washroom they became harder and harder to wrestle back into. Near the end of the night I even considered ditching them all together. But I was afraid I would explode out of my dress! LOL
I must confess today has been a rough day, I went to bed at 3:30 last night, having consumed much to much wine. I have felt hungover all day and have medicated the feeling with McDonalds, sugar juices, and more crap. I fear if I tried to put that dress on tonight even the power of spanx could not help me. Back to the gym tomorrow though, and working on my next milestone the New Year's Resolution Run.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sugar and the Holy Spirit

I am having one of those days. I couldn't get to the gym today for a variety of reasons, two of which involved driving to the other end of the city to do some good deeds. The girls and I were at the mall for dinner and I ate fries with the WORKS...VEGGIE WORKS which is cheese, sour cream, and green onions...I guess the green onions make it VEGGIE LOL. Our ride home was horrible. I was stressed driving in the dark, the girls were misbehaving and I took two wrong turns while YELLING at them to stop YELLING. Needless to say when we go home I was stressed. It was my night off from putting the kids to bed and instead I volunteered to do it and let Ryan go to the gym for a workout. I soon found myself in front of the sugar cookies we baked eating two of them. It wasn't long before the old self loathing kicked in and the metal berating. The devil at work. I put the kids to bed and settled in when the phone rang. I got a call tonight with inspiration and motivation from the most unlikely of sources. We had a great talk and I hung up the phone feeling much better. A little while passed and they called back....having thought of something else to say....its hard to explain this but while we were talking it was like we were holding a match on fire (that being the holy spirit) and by the end of our conversation it was the OLYMPIC TORCH. I truly felt the HOLY SPIRIT at work today. I know it sounds hokey poky...but its alive in me and it feels GREAT..and I have missed that feeling :)

Monday, December 6, 2010


I have officially reached GREEN level on Nike + 255KM since May 2010 :) Kind of liking that today :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Back at er

Pictures taken today because I am feeling very relieved after a 6 day break from the gym. I am feeling almost healthy again today and went to the gym. I had an easy run, did 5km in 48min, 58sec. I even got on the scale today and have lost 36 pounds since May. I have gone from a size 22 to a 16. I thought these pictures were good comparisons. I have lost weight in my tummy area in the last month. I can't believe I am sharing side pictures with you GASP!. I am sucking it in like there is no tomorrow in both pictures and holding me breath!. But even then there is a difference between now and August. The picture below is from my first day at he gym in May.

So I survived being sick and away from the gym. The world did not fall apart and I didn't either. I had a good run today. I didn't feel as strong as I normal do, but that was to be expected. It wasn't a hard run either though. I have noticed two things in the last month about my weight loss.
1. I am loosing weight...DUH:) But no really I am more now then before. I think its the spinning I have been doing, its a CALORIE TORCHER.
2. I may be loosing weight but I am getting VERY FLABBY!!! Naked I look disgusting. My stomach HANGS all deflated...the pouch hangs boobs..oh my beloved boobs...they hang even more than before and have deflated some too (they don't fill my bra as they used to). I have been doing a lot more cardio in my workouts and less strength training and you can see it.
So this month I have a 10km race at the end of Dec (in the snow). I do need to prepare for that firstly, and my second focus is going to be strength and toning.
So as Kasey would say....TA DA!!!!!!!


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Still sick

Still sick...its been FIVE DAYS since I have worked out. Really Really hoping to get to the gym tomorrow.

In the meantime I was looking through my other blog and found this post from Jan 2007 and thought it was kind of interesting.

Enjoy :)