Ryan and I picked up our Race Kits today for Sunday's 10km Rattle Me Bones Race. I have a swarm of butterflies in my tummy. I took the last two days off working out. I had taken Thursday off as my day off (I try to and usually do workout 6 days a week). However, Friday's workout was thrown for a curve with a sick 2 year old, and an emergency tooth extraction for the 4 year old. Friday was a very stressful day and I dealt with it by eating. I had McDonald's for lunch, Pizza and chocolate for dinner, and more chocolate in the evening while watching a movie. Oh and a chocolate espresso brownie from Starbucks too. I went to bed Friday night feeling gross and panicking about Sunday's race. In my mind I thought I had ruined all my training and work by not working out two days in a row and stuffing myself beyond full with food. Friday was an awful day. From start to finish. I tried to turn it around. At 4:00pm yesterday I decided to go into the basement and try to do level 2 of the SHRED DVD. I had the kids in the basement bugging me and wanting me to do stuff for them. I should have done level 1, level 2 had me doing jarring moves on my knees and they started to hurt a little. I stopped immediately thinking a 20 min workout was not worth an injury days before the race. I know it was the smart thing to do, but it left me a million times more frustrated and stressed than I had been before trying to workout. Friday was a classic case of eating to deal with stress and doing all the wrong things.
Today, I had planned to go do a spinning class in the morning while Kayleigh was at Tap. Only I had left all my stuff in the Van that Ryan took to tap. grrrrrrrr. Instead of flipping out I waited for Ryan to come home and we all went to the gym together. I ran 5km on the treadmill at an easy 4.7 mile pace at 1% incline to practice MY 10km pace. It felt good, and I felt much better about being able to do the 10km Sunday.
After the gym we went to get the race kits and our shirts. I love the shirts! They are yellow and long sleeved and it FITS! Much better than my Army Run shirt did.
I am excited for tomorrow now. I know I can do it. Slow and Steady. I am excited to be running it with Ryan.
Most of all I know that I can SLIP and SLIP big time and still be ok.
Letting go of this black and white thinking is hard, but its going to be what truly saves me in the end. Letting go of it will really allow me to be free and healthy.