The doubt has been creeping in the last few days. That little negative voice has started whispering to me. It all started a few days ago while on vacation at the cottage I looked at some pictures of myself that I had taken that week. I was surprised by how unflattering they were. How bloated my face looked, and how big I still am. I thought I would look smaller, fitter with all the exercise I have been doing and all that I have accomplished. Tack on to that being at the cottage for a week and all the food I ate (plus wobbly drinks) and don't even get me started on the 60oz of Bailey's Ryan and I polished off in our coffee. I stayed active at the cottage and ran 25km, swam, and walked. But still the doubt is creeping in. Today as I headed to the gym I felt very fat. I didn't feel like my usual fit confident self.
So why is this doubt creeping in. I don't want to just dismiss the voice. I don't want to give into negative thought either. But I think maybe this voice can tell me something constructive, and that's that there is still work to be done. After all I started this journey at 258 pounds, its not like I only had 20 pounds to loose.
I may be very active and lets be honest that's easy for me I love it. Its not like I have to drag myself to the gym or out for a run. I want to do it. Its like scrapbooking for me:) I have given myself free run with food. I don't want to diet and I don't think I need to to be healthy and loose weight. I read the book Women,Food, and God and loved how she talked about eating what you want and eating when your hungry. But let's be real I haven't done very well this month at eating when I am hungry and listening to my body.
I do need to eat better. I need to fuel my body and my children with food that will help us be our best. I need to listen to my body.
So I am going to be working on this. I started this week off with a meal plan for meals, and shopped for the stuff Sunday. I also picked out 3 recipes of healthy things to make with kids. This way hopefully I can get them excited about healthy food too.
Wish me luck :)
PS. We have SWEET BEET COOKIES in the oven :)